It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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