The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
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