worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize