she was so not down for the gang bang
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
