WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Randomize
