The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
