if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
