I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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