So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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