I look better un-naked...
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
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