sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
