I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
