so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
