Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
