Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize