Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
