ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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