Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
