you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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