Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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