I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize