I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
