after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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