...so i touched it.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
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