....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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