He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
