I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
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