Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
