i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
