it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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