I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
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