I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize