called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
