Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Randomize
