Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
True strength comes from lack of pants
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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