Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Randomize
