Quick, to the slutcave!
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
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