I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
