he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
