He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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