He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Randomize
