I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
God, you're like boner-b-gone
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
