I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
It's blow job season.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
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