Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
i believe in u and ur pee
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