He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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