Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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