Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
