just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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