We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
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