I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
