id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
