I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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