So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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