my vag is so smooth its legendary
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
