I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
how can u be prego again
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
