i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
You are the jesus of drinking
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
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