Having a random hookup so left but love u
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
