yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
She just used a chaser for red wine.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
