You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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