how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
