Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
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